Thursday, October 6, 2016


the Mothers garden
Driving many days in a row was wearing me out. One week into the drive after having driven through Pa, Ohio, Iowa to Nebraska I decided to make a detour to Colorado. I’d seen enough corn fields. I rerouted and took the road to the Sri Aurobindo  library in Crestone, Colorado. I had not planned to go to Crestone but had always wanted to visit ever since I came upon the compilations of Flowers by The Mother. Here was the opportunity. 
 I had not realized how tired I was till I just allowed myself to slow down in this peaceful setting. My new life could now beginner so I told myself. The urge to  push and to get somewhere was behind me. The feeling of needing to get somewhere dropped away as well. After having stayed at the library of Sri Aurobindo for 2 days the grief I had felt the previous week after leaving NY subsided. 
Ground Ivy essence appeared during those 2 days pointing me back to the bigger picture. It tells me I have the power to step out of the identification of the collective system that supports the ego and mind created story.  As I stepped out willingly it felt like I was abandoning my self  by stepping out.  It asks you to honor your own personal identity- to include it when choosing for yourself. 
 Over a family style dinner with other guests the questions came about my journey:  So you moved from a home, left everything and moved into a trailer to travel cross country? The person asking fully understood what kind of journey this was.
 What prompted this life change?  I’d been very happy in Duchess County for the past 7 years. Never had I anticipated to move away.Yet when the house I was renting  was sold I was surprised to discover it was time to move this comfortable area.
I explored as to where I wanted to move to. It would be California yet I could not quite decide where. The trailer seemed a perfect way to explore an area unfamiliar to me. Once the  decision to leave NY was made it all went very fast. Within a time frame of 3 month I sold most of my belongings, bought a trailer with a truck to pull it. I am now driving cross county to a new destination. After 2 nights in this calm oasis of the library I felt refreshed and rested. I still felt rushed however to get to my unknown destination as fast as I could. Hoping to get tho the end result. I just needed something to hold on to. 
In Crestone, CO 
I noticed it when still in Crestone I stopped at the Joyful Journey Hot springs. I was there less than an hour and got in the car to push forward. I needed to be somewhere.  Besides feeling rushed I also felt I had to continuously keep busy when parked to rest. 

All along the road lush Rabbitbrush bushes bloomed.  It paved the way as if to say; “I am here - I am your friend”. I made an essence out of it the next day and the busy bee in me subsided substantially. 
The next  night in a park in Utah deep a fear surfaced.  I’d gone way beyond  my comfort zone. Plum vibration speaks to this and it showed up for me the minute I tuned in. Both Toots and I took a few drops of that with Star Of Bethlehem  as  we where adjusting our ways. Especially animals respond incredibly well to flower essences. Toots who had taken over my restlessness calmed down in an instant.

 Lilac also appeared while in Utah. In support of a new way of life. A negative thought startend to creep in again. It encouraged me to break the pattern. You know that feeling of expecting the worst. Patterns of the story the mind creates. When thoughts taking you to the next moment they do become more important than this moment. The creativity cannot flow. Because the next thing I cooked up is mental stuff. Interference while my mind kept saying: I need to get there. Not being fully present here started to create stress. I started to have  a sore knee that evening. I thought Lilac was able to help me nip it in the but.  But my clarity of perception was clouded by these thoughts. I  just forgot that all I had to do was transcend the belief by staying in this  moment- to stop and reflect  and fully accept that living by my own narrative is ok. I hit the road and entered Nevada. 

Saturday, October 1, 2016


My first week  on the road to a new horizon flew by. The night prior to my departure I watched the movie of the story of Jivamukti. “What is real?” I soaked it all up. Over the years they have been such an inspiration for me. Shannon and David crafted their lives through the love of what they do while sharing their gifts with the world. With their message I hit the road.
Yet only two days into the trip  as I watched the sun rise in the East which I had just left behind I was overwhelmed with a feeling of profound grief. While I was eating a peach the emotions that surfaced with leaving NY which had been home to me since 1989 caught me of guard. Emotions I had been unaware I needed to feel. Is there something like — “Good grief”?   I can’t describe it any other  way.  I felt l such deep sadness yet right on it’s heels a freedom feel came along with it. I could not quite place this freedom I felt paired up with this sadness. The emotions where quite intense and as always when in need I consulted the flowers. Acknowledging my fear of the new road ahead  helped dissolve the past.
It  brings me to the purpose of  writing this blog. Here I will share my dreams and fears with you while exploring a new way of being that is  unfamiliar to me in the hopes it will be of benefit you as well.  I’ll be sharing my personal journey through the wisdom of the flowers. 
It takes effort-  this  weaning off of the old habits. I’m creating a new life for myself that is fitting to my true nature— no longer swimming in the  collective or a family narrative that had cut me of from my true essence.
A new way of being that is unfamiliar yet relentless is upon many of us. I am not alone in going through a transformational process of letting go of what no longer works.
We are in the midst of  a shift in realms causing  deep buried fears to surface. There is a way to ride the wave. Dive into the depth of your fears and take  the leap of faith to follow your heart. Find those that can help you on this journey. 
 took a few drops of Witchhazel vibration that popped up to support me in the midst of my transition form the East Coast to the Redwoods. . It showed me the new dream which is emerging.
As the sun set West I can see  the deep down basic essence of a full expression of personal freedom that is appearing.  Witchhazel continues to tell me: “It is only my  ego that weeps what it has lost”. (A Sufi statement)  Once I saw this  I gained so much more. After this insight all opened up and an amazing uplifting energy emerged.
As I drive across the country to the West there’s great sense of freedom surfacing. I’m on this journey for myself and no one else. Iris showed up and asked me to take a deep look at the expression of my true passion. I’d never quite gotten the true essence of Iris.
Iris essence speaks to this point in life when your achievements life are no longer dictated by the ego. When feelings of inferiority or superiority fall away all becomes much more harmonious.  Your goals and achievements that want to be created through you can now reach you through a deeper level of your being. When approaching and reaching your goals without ego it becomes a state of enjoyment. Within this new way of being which positively affects both work and play your creativity can spark.
Till next week from The Sri Aurobindo Library in Crestone, Colorado.