|the Mothers garden|
I had not realized how tired I was till I just allowed myself to slow down in this peaceful setting. My new life could now beginner so I told myself. The urge to push and to get somewhere was behind me. The feeling of needing to get somewhere dropped away as well. After having stayed at the library of Sri Aurobindo for 2 days the grief I had felt the previous week after leaving NY subsided.
Ground Ivy essence appeared during those 2 days pointing me back to the bigger picture. It tells me I have the power to step out of the identification of the collective system that supports the ego and mind created story. As I stepped out willingly it felt like I was abandoning my self by stepping out. It asks you to honor your own personal identity- to include it when choosing for yourself.
Over a family style dinner with other guests the questions came about my journey: So you moved from a home, left everything and moved into a trailer to travel cross country? The person asking fully understood what kind of journey this was.
What prompted this life change? I’d been very happy in Duchess County for the past 7 years. Never had I anticipated to move away.Yet when the house I was renting was sold I was surprised to discover it was time to move this comfortable area.
I explored as to where I wanted to move to. It would be California yet I could not quite decide where. The trailer seemed a perfect way to explore an area unfamiliar to me. Once the decision to leave NY was made it all went very fast. Within a time frame of 3 month I sold most of my belongings, bought a trailer with a truck to pull it. I am now driving cross county to a new destination. After 2 nights in this calm oasis of the library I felt refreshed and rested. I still felt rushed however to get to my unknown destination as fast as I could. Hoping to get tho the end result. I just needed something to hold on to.
|In Crestone, CO|
All along the road lush Rabbitbrush bushes bloomed. It paved the way as if to say; “I am here - I am your friend”. I made an essence out of it the next day and the busy bee in me subsided substantially.
The next night in a park in Utah deep a fear surfaced. I’d gone way beyond my comfort zone. Plum vibration speaks to this and it showed up for me the minute I tuned in. Both Toots and I took a few drops of that with Star Of Bethlehem as we where adjusting our ways. Especially animals respond incredibly well to flower essences. Toots who had taken over my restlessness calmed down in an instant.
Lilac also appeared while in Utah. In support of a new way of life. A negative thought startend to creep in again. It encouraged me to break the pattern. You know that feeling of expecting the worst. Patterns of the story the mind creates. When thoughts taking you to the next moment they do become more important than this moment. The creativity cannot flow. Because the next thing I cooked up is mental stuff. Interference while my mind kept saying: I need to get there. Not being fully present here started to create stress. I started to have a sore knee that evening. I thought Lilac was able to help me nip it in the but. But my clarity of perception was clouded by these thoughts. I just forgot that all I had to do was transcend the belief by staying in this moment- to stop and reflect and fully accept that living by my own narrative is ok. I hit the road and entered Nevada.